April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and I’d like to ask you to follow me on a little journey.
Imagine, if you will, going to a football game at Memorial Stadium in Lincoln, Neb., home of the University of Nebraska football team.
This stadium has been sold out since 1962 – more than 330 consecutive games where a capacity crowd has watched the Huskers play football every fall Saturday afternoon. There never an empty seat on game day – people flock from all parts of the state (and the globe) to witness Husker football every season.
The tailgating starts early – people are grilling food, enjoying cold beverages of all types, throwing Nerf footballs around and enjoying the social time together, talking with people from all across the state and just enjoying a crisp, sunny fall afternoon on the plains of Nebraska. It’s a great day to be a Husker fan, and everybody is enjoying themselves as they await kickoff.
Now imagine this – the Huskers are playing the biggest game ever in the history of the program. A national championship rides on the outcome of this game. And yet, for all that is riding on the game, only 78.7 percent of the stadium is occupied. Based on a stated seating capacity estimate of 92,000, the attendance for that game would be 72,440 fans.
Now let’s throw this into the mix – let’s say that the only fans allowed into the game are children under the age of 18. No big-money donors, no alumni, no university students – only kids going to school in Nebraska who are under the age of 18.
And, just to really get specific to the point – let’s say the only you can get into the game is if you live in Nebraska, are under the age of 18 and have been sexually assaulted. It’s hard to imagine that, with all of those limitations, you’d have THAT MANY people in the stands for the big game, isn’t it?
And yet, based on a Centers For Disease Control study that found 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually assaulted before their 18th birthday, that’s EXACTLY how many kids would be able to attend the big game, based on the 2014-15 enrollment numbers provided by the Nebraska Department of Education and the corresponding CDC ratios mentioned previously.
Based on the CDC ratios, more than 30,000 boys and more than 42,000 girls in this state have experienced the horror of sexual assault. I can say that being a survivor of sexual assault is a horror, because I’ve experienced it and know what it’s like. I know how it feels to be violated in such a way at such a young age, and I know the terror and the trauma that becomes a life-long existence because of that experience.
More than 20 percent of our school-age children in this state are survivors of sexual abuse. That’s 1 in 5 kids – a number that SHOULD scare the hell out of you, because these children grow up into adult survivors of sexual abuse, and many of them carry these burdens with them throughout their lives.
I can quote so many numbers about the increased likelihood of everything from drug use to suicide that accompanies those who have been sexually abused in their young lives. I’ve had my own struggles with drug use, depression, suicide attempts, and I can trace every one of those experiences to a spring afternoon in March of 1976 when I was attacked by the older brother of a classmate behind the swimming pool in the small town of Newman Grove, Neb.
There are a number of organizations in Nebraska who can help those who have been victimized by sexual assault, whether it happened to you as a child or as an adult. In my home town of Wayne, Haven House is a great resource for those who have been victims of sexual assault or domestic violence. They have wonderful people whose mission is to serve those and help survivors get what they need to deal with the crimes that have been perpetrated against them. These are non-profit organizations that fill an important role in the effort to combat sexual assault.
In this day and age, we know so much more about the effects that can be experienced by those who have been sexually assaulted. At the same time, the crime has expanded and our children are susceptible to these attacks in more ways than could have been conceived back when I was attacked 40 years ago. And those numbers mentioned above relate ONLY to those who report the attack. When you think about the fact that only 3 in 10 child sexual assault cases are actually reported and acted upon, the actual number of children in this state who have been sexually assaulted would, most likely, more than fill up Memorial Stadium.
If you’ve been sexually assaulted and feel like you’re the only one to have experienced this, know that you’re not alone. There are those, like you and me, who have been through this hell and know that there’s nothing wrong with you. This is NOT your fault. Talk with someone about the experience. Report the crime to the authorities if it’s something that has happened recently. Do not go through the rest of your life hiding in fear, dreading your existence or feeling like you are unworthy because of what happened to you. It’s time for we, as survivors of sexual assault, to claim victory over this experience and tell the world that we will not be kept down by our perpetrators and what they have done to us physically.