For many years, I thought that nobody could understand the hell that I had been through.
I was sexually assaulted by the older brother of a classmate in the spring of 1976. I was not quite 10 years old at the time, and for many years after I felt as if I was suffering alone.
It wasn’t until many years later, when I began reading and hearing stories of fellow survivors of sexual assault, that I began to realize I wasn’t the only individual whose life was turned upside down thanks to the sick, twisted perversion of another person. Still, nobody had experienced MY suffering, I felt, so I never could really grasp the truth that others had suffered as I had.
As time wore on and the topic of child sexual assault began to make headlines, most notably in the Catholic church and with the Jerry Sandusky controversy at Penn State University, I really came to the understanding that my suffering is not unique. In the aftermath of writing my book, “Call Me A Survivor,” the numbers I have found through research further drive that point home. The fact that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys in the United States are sexually abused before their 18th birthday is a staggering number. And of those individuals of both genders who are sexually abused in this country, less than a third of them report the crime to authorities.
Are you one of those who are under the age of 18 and have experienced this horrific crime? Are you one of those individuals who don’t think reporting the crime committed against you is going to do any good, for whatever reason?
If you are one of those people, there is something you need to know – you are not alone.
I have written a number of newspaper columns, both before and after work on my book, and it always amazes me how many responses I receive from writing those columns in the weekly newspaper I work at in Nebraska. The thanks for being willing to tell my story, especially when they feel they can’t tell their own publicly, is worth so much to me.
The thing I always seem to find surprising, though, is exactly WHO is contacting me. I have business leaders, education administrators, professionals, and people from all walks of life and all types of social and financial status who privately communicate with me their experiences. Some have told nobody BUT me about their experience, and I’m grateful that they feel they can trust me with their stories, but the fact that this crime has had such an impact on such a wide scale really hammers home the point that we, as survivors of sexual assault and/or child sexual assault, are not alone.
You may be reading this and questioning whether or not you should tell your story. People may not understand, or just flat out don’t believe what happened to you. You need to understand that you are not alone in this world, and those of us who share your experience have a story to tell, just as you do. Do not be afraid, under any circumstances, to reach out to others who have been through the experiences you have in your life. You are not alone, and there is peace in this world for survivors like you and I.